Humor Writing
Please enjoy a curated selection of my humor writing…
The New Yorker
What I Imagine Every European Will Say to Me, an American, When I Explore Europe
I Want My Wife to Be My Partner, My Lover, My Therapist, My Blacksmith, and My Best Friend
I Thought I Would Have Accomplished a Lot More Today and Also by the Time I Was Thirty-Five
Winners Wake Up Early: Every Article I’ve Written About My Morning Routine
McSweeney’s
Here At Our Crazy Furniture Warehouse, Everything Must Go! Especially You, Ted!
I Will Teach You to Master Zen Meditation With These Zero Weird Tricks
Our Open-Plan Office Failed, So We’re Moving to a Towering Panopticon
Austin Monthly
QUIZ: Are You Ready for Austin’s Next Inevitable Power Outage?
6 Things to Look Forward to When Austin is the Most Expensive City in the Country
Points In Case
Every Situation in Which I Would Literally Say, "You Snooze, You Lose"
Think You Got What It Takes to Join Our Gang, the Crabapple Boys?!
I Am Henry Heimlich’s Arch-Rival, and I Also Invented a Very Cool Maneuver
Slackjaw
Although I Am an Eccentric Billionaire, I Will Not Be Hunting You for Sport Today
7 Quotes From Stoic Philosophers That Made Me Lose My Goddamn Mind
You Look Weak My Dear Boy! We Must Feed You These 9 Suppers At Once!
Three Habits to Give Up Today if You Want to Stop Being Mauled by Bears
Writers! 34 Things You MUST DO for Your Article to Go Viral!
Nihilist Dad Jokes Book
The viral McSweeney’s trilogy Nihilist Dad Jokes is now available as a digital book with gorgeous illustrations by J.W. Libby.
Get the book HERE, as a free gift. This is a limited offer that is only available until you die.